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Parenting Difficult Children

Sometimes a child labeled ‘difficult’ is just expressing a healthy need for independence. But in other cases, the label is actually too mild. Adults can be violent, irresponsible, indifferent to the harm they do others and typically that behavior begins in childhood.

Not all such children are potential criminals, but they share some of the characteristics - refusal to fully accept reality, poor impulse control, lack of empathy, disrespect for the rights of others and a range of destructive behavior against people, animals and property.

Usually the signs are all too clear to parents - refusal to accept limits or take instruction, shouting, temper tantrums and sometimes hitting siblings or even parents. Sometimes the condition is influenced by genetic and hormonal factors - as in Asperger’s Syndrome, ADHD or even autism. It can be magnified by stressful factors in the environment.

Some temperaments are natural, such as extreme sensitivity to stimuli, some moods can be brought on by new elements such as a new child in the home. Sometimes, as with adults, it’s simply a choice to misbehave.

Sorting out all these complex factors is one of the parent’s toughest jobs. Testing may help. It can be useful to get a good diagnosis, but take what you hear with a grain of salt. Consult more than one specialist when possible. There is a lot of junk science in child development.

But whatever the causes, the parent will need to exercise even more than normal patience to deal with the child’s behavior. Frustration and anger are normal, but only add to an already difficult situation.

Dealing with the child and its behavior can range from simple time outs to distraction to some drug therapy (in extreme cases). When a child misbehaves and refuses to listen, removing a wanted toy or restraining a desired activity can be helpful. It should be accompanied by clear and firm expressions of the reasons for the actions. That helps the child associate its unwanted behavior with the consequences.

Physical punishment rarely helps, but a tap on the hand is hardly abuse. Parents should avoid feeling guilty, as if they caused the behavior. There are abusive parents, but these are not the ones who are seeking to understand and mold their child’s actions toward more healthy expressions.

Be prepared to alter the environment. It may be necessary in some cases to not have pets in the house and siblings should be protected from any bad behavior. Often, with patience and the employment of standard techniques, the child’s behavior can be altered, sometimes dramatically.

Dealing with difficult children is, by definition, difficult. But with patience and training both parents and children can achieve satisfying results.

               

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St. Petersburg, Russia - Leningrad Zoo

IMAGE SOURCE: Leningrad Zoo

Leningrad Zoo

First completed in 1865, the Leningrad Zoo has had its ups and downs over the past nearly century and a half. It isn’t the equal of the world class zoos such as those in San Diego and the Bronx. Still, it is a great sight to see in St. Petersburg.

In 1873 it was taken over by Ernest Rost who helped build up the collection and restore the declining site to its original glory. He introduced circus performances, orchestral performances and luxurious restaurants. For over 20 years under his leadership it housed giraffes, orangutans, African elephants and dozens of other then-seldom seen species.

After his departure in 1897 the Zoo once again went into a fallow period, finally closing in 1909. After the Bolshevik Revolution of 1917, the zoo was nationalized along with everything else in the country. The Soviets made modest efforts to keep up the collection, even seeing that the elephant was fed when the city’s residents were not.

Subject to extensive damage during WWII, especially the 900-day long Siege of Leningrad, the Zoo was closed to the public until 1944. Still, the collection grew slowly and held a rhino, a hippo, chimpanzees and others.

It drifted along until the dissolution of the Soviet system, when things began to come back to life. Though the residents voted in 1991 to retain the name (St. Petersburg was called Leningrad during the Soviet years), it was not the same old zoo afterward.

The collection now boasts over 2,000 animals comprising over 400 species. Second in size in Russia only to the famed Moscow Zoo, it is alive with anteaters and other exotic types not commonly found in other zoos. The terrarium houses dozens of interesting snake and lizard species.

It offers regular tours, lectures from zoological experts and has one of the country’s most significant animal research departments. Students compete by means of an exam to become part of the zoo’s Young Zoologist Society.

Visitors will find the zoo well worth a visit at any time of the year. In the spring, they’ll get a chance to see many of the cold weather species such as mink, ermine and deer shed their fur. Occasionally, one can even catch a mating in progress.

Many cold-weather bird species molt at that time of the year, also. When the weather warms up, Leningrad Zoo’s aviary residents come alive with thousands of distinctive tunes that fill the air.

But a visit during the winter can be equally rewarding. The sables, ermines, martens, polar foxes and other winter-oriented animals are at their most active during this season. It’s rare to visit a zoo and see such furry creatures ambling around as they might in their natural habitat.

The Zoo can be reached via the city’s metro (subway) system. Exit at Gorkovskaya station.

               

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Wedding Food, Drinks and Cake

To eat, drink and be merry! That’s the real reason guests love attending wedding receptions. Because food and fun go hand in hand, many couples plan their wedding food and wedding drinks at the same time they’re planning the reception.

And even though the majority of wedding receptions are held during the evening, this doesn’t have to be the case with yours. If you’re working on a tight budget, instead of planning a nighttime sit down-style reception, consider arranging a morning, brunch, lunch, or cocktail reception. They can be just as festive, but at a fraction of the cost. To set the tone, select a location with a pleasant daytime view. If you prefer an evening reception, a buffet dinner will cost less than a sit-down dinner as will a paid bar versus an open bar.

You need to plan your wedding food and drinks well ahead, at least 6 - 12 months in advance of the big day. Oftentimes, the reception location is selected because of the fact that the wedding food and non-alcoholic drinks are offered as part of the package price. And while these venues may not create the wedding cake, they will often refer a wedding cake specialist. At a minimum, you’ll find they offer cake cutting/serving services.

There are, however, a number of reception locations that will require the services of a caterer. If this is your situation, it’s important to check whether cooking facilities are available at the reception location. If not, the caterer may have to rent what is needed, which will add to your costs as these fees will ultimately be passed on to you. Most couples think only to deal with creating the menu, not the logistical end of catering including servers. Neglecting the details can lead to problems and cost overruns down the road. A good caterer will help you through the details, but you should know what to ask as well.

Most couples will break their wedding food budget down into a cost-per-person basis. The goal is to get as much quality food as you can while spending the least amount possible. You have lots of food options and if you’re planning the food and the wedding/reception simultaneously, you have time options like those noted above which can lower your wedding food costs significantly.

When it comes to wedding drinks, non-alcoholic beverages will be your least expensive option (although you still should have champagne for a toast) and you’ll find that they’re often included with the price of the wedding food. If you’re going to serve alcoholic beverages, you have more decisions to make including open bar or paid, wine and beer or full liquor service.

As for the wedding cake, again, the costs are typically determined on a per head basis. It used to be that you ordered your multi-tier, one flavor cake with plastic statue on top from a baker but nowadays, you can actually have your wedding cake custom-created by a cake designer! That’s just one more thing to think about when planning your wedding budget.

               

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Low Hassle Exterior Painting

Fortunately, painting the outside of most homes is easier today than ever. Easier… not easy. When the average cost of a professional paint job runs several thousand dollars (though they do earn it), you may want to tackle it yourself.

Get started right by investing in one of the many home design software packages available. You can’t judge color and finish on a computer monitor. But, it will help you estimate the amount of paint needed, provide a list of materials and assist you in budgeting.

Unless you know the effect of a particular paint on your home, try some inexpensive and quick experiments. Buy a pint of your proposed color and finish and try it on a small, out-of-the-way section of the house.

Prepare the surface as you would for the whole job, by cleaning and sanding, if necessary. Scrape off any chips or cracking sections. Apply and let dry for a week and, if possible, observe in different weather conditions (cloudy, sunny, overcast). Take into account the amount of shade in your test area. You may have to try it in more than one spot to get a realistic idea.

You can repeat the experiment using both latex-based and alkyd(oil)-based paints. In years past, oil would have been the hands down favorite for exterior work, but as paint products evolve the choice is now a toss up.

Latex is easier to work with and dries faster, but tends to be less durable. It also bonds more readily with weather stripping. It breaths well, allowing moisture in the wood to come out (or in, unfortunately) more easily. Clean up generally requires no more than dish detergent and water.

Oil-based paints stand up well to wear, making it especially good for doors, trim, porches and so forth. Clean up is more difficult though, particularly since disposal now requires special procedures. Some cities fine residents for placing oil-paint cans into trash, requiring disposal at stores or special facilities - usually for a fee.

If you select latex-based paint, use a synthetic material roller, such as nylon. Couple that with synthetic bristle brushes for trim and crevices. Natural fiber brushes absorb the moisture in latex paint, making spreading more difficult. For oil-based paint jobs use a natural bristle brush. Pair that with a roller made of lamb’s wool or other natural material.

Rollers come in different pile lengths, from very smooth to very rough. For a more polished look and/or use on smooth surfaces the smoother roller is an option. For rough surfaces, you’ll need the rougher roller in order to get good coverage with minimal hassle.

To save time on clean up when using oil-based paints, experiment with popping the brushes and rollers into plastic bags and freezing. The next day or following weekend, allow to thaw for an hour and take up where you left off.

Before you begin, inspect the entire area and prepare the surfaces. Sand any rusty nail heads (or replace, if practical). Putty cracks and sand smooth the result after drying. Remember that paint dries slower on plastic than newspaper. Visit the local journal and pick up a few stacks of returns to cover those plastic drop cloths.

As you plan your job, get two or three weather reports. Aim for a period of moderate temperatures and low humidity.

Good painting!

               

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How to Grow Orchids on Your Windowsill

Learning how to grow orchids in your home is a beautiful hobby. Orchids have been recorded in history for centuries as a flower of love and commitment. Orchids are traditionally used in wedding bouquets and made into corsages for proms and homecoming dances. They are in special corsages for anniversaries and inaugurations and have stood the passage of time in preserving their beauty. Orchids are grown with special care and learning how to grow orchids takes patience and love.

The Windowsill

The very first thing you need to do when learning how to grow orchids is to buy a good book on orchids. This book will come in very handy during your orchid growing project. If you have a window in your home with a southern exposure you will learn how to grow varieties of orchids right on the windowsill. Even if your windows are partially obscured by buildings or trees you should still be able to grow your orchids. All that you need to begin your orchid growing is a windowsill and a humidity tray on which to place your potted plants. A nearby misting bottle is good to have on hand to mist your plants occasionally.

Light Conditions

Starting with two or three orchids is a suitable amount to start your project. There is no need to crowd your windowsill and two or three plants are an easy number of plants to handle. If you have sun loving orchids (check your handy orchid book) grow them several inches from the window pane. Shade loving orchids (again check your orchid book) can be grown in the shadow of these plants. Knowing how to grow orchids in different light conditions can make the difference between beautiful orchids and dead orchids. Direct sunlight on orchid plants can burn leaves especially during hot summer months.

A sheer curtain may be needed to protect your orchids from any excessive light and heat. Good air circulation is also important and a light fan that is directed just above the leaves will keep your plants cool. If little pests become a problem on your plants, gently wash or scrape them off of your plant. Using isopropyl alcohol to spot treat your plants is a handy way to keep your orchids pest free. Isopropyl alcohol is easily accessible as it is found in most bathroom medicine chests.

One basic rule in learning how to grow orchids is when watering your orchids keep in mind that orchids tolerate being too dry rather than too wet. Be sure and let the water run through the pot in order to eliminate any mineral deposits that have settled into the soil. The amount of water depends on a lot of different variables. It depends on the size of the pot, the composition of the soil, the type of orchid, which direction the windowsill is facing, is the plant active and how hot is the weather. But remembering the one basic rule for watering orchids should keep you safe. Knowing how to grow your own orchids is a fun, beautiful and easy hobby especially from your very own windowsill.

               

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How To Clean Your Coins

Though debates rage about whether and how to clean your coins, most serious collectors agree on some basic guidelines.

The first principle is similar to the Hippocratic Oath for physicians: avoid damage at all costs. Most coins have already experienced wear and degradation of various kinds. Exposure to air, banging together in carrying bags, use in commerce and a host of other actions will result in nicks, scratches and corrosion.

Don’t make the situation worse once you acquire the coin for collecting or trade.

That principle implies a method for deciding when to clean a coin. If leaving the coin untouched will result in further degradation - because of the presence of corrosive chemicals, dirt or other material - then clean the coin GENTLY.

The goal is never to make them look ’shiny and new’, but merely to prevent any further corrosion or damage from chemicals the coins may have come in contact with. The green stain on copper coins is a common example. This is copper oxide - in essence a kind of rust.

What you use to clean them with will depend on the kind of material you are trying to remove. But there are some common household ingredients that can be used safely.

Be sure to wash your hands and lay out a clean working area first. Test any method you use on an ordinary coin before using it on a collectible.

Ordinary liquid dishwashing detergent is useful for removing surface dirt. If soaking doesn’t work, apply a small amount to the surface and rub very gently with the thumb and forefinger. Do one coin at a time and keep them separate so they don’t scratch or ding one another.

Lemon juice contains a weak acid that is useful for removing oily smudges, including those produced from unwashed hands. Sometimes a short soak will remove material without the need for rubbing. Try that first. Keep in mind however that removing oil exposes the surface to air. The oil serves as a protective coat. That can lead to oxidation.

Coins should preferably be air dried, but if you must rub use an extremely soft cotton cloth and rub very gently. A better method and material is to use cloths made especially for cleaning eyeglasses, as they are non-abrasive.

Before using any kind of tarnish or stain remover, similar to the sort commonly used on silver spoons, for example, consult a coin dealer. You may actually lower the value of the coin by making it less tarnished. Always use the type especially made for coins.

Dealers and serious coin collectors will in rare cases use electrolysis to clean certain coins. Though, again, most coins are never cleaned or polished at all. Home kits exist or can be made for this purpose, but they should be used with extreme care.

To repeat: you may actually decrease the worth of your coin in attempting to ‘improve’ it. When in doubt, consult a dealer before cleaning any coin.

               

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Simple Retirement Calculator Offers Financial Snapshot

There may be several complicated calculations that need to be made to determine a person’s retirement income and expenses, but there is a simple retirement calculator that gives a good snapshot of whether a person can afford to retire when they reach a certain age. In its most simplified form, a simple retirement calculator looks at projected income and anticipated expenses to tell whether the potential retiree has enough money to cover all of their expenses.

This can be especially useful for those nearing retirement age who need to know if they have enough money in their retirement fund or 401K to maintain their current style of living once they quit working. By using a simple retirement calculator they can determine if they need to add money every month while working to bring the balance up to a livable level. They may also want to consider shedding some expenses they no longer need to help make their retirement budget balance.

When using a simple retirement calculator it is important to remember that it does not include any possible increase in expenses or unforeseen losses of income. Many times a retiree’s investments may go sour greatly reducing the entire portfolio balance as well as their monthly income.

Making Adjustments To Meet Financial Goals

By using a simple retirement calculator it can offer general guidance on what steps may need to be taken to insure the money is available for retirement. By adjusting from the figures calculated with a simple retirement calculator, it can be determined if an early retirement is possible or if they will need to continue working beyond the full retirement age.

With Social Security, for example, retiring early can cause the loss of as much as 25 percent of the retirement income. If their additional retirement income streams do not make up for that 25 percent loss, they will need to continue working until they reach the age for full retirement. The simple retirement calculator can show if they can live on the lesser amount or will need to work beyond the retirement age to stay financially afloat.

Five years prior to retirement may be too late to use a simple retirement calculator and find out there is not enough money on which to retire. The time to begin planning for retirement is while a person is young enough to put a sufficient amount into a retirement plan. However, regardless of how long and how much a person has saved, a simple retirement calculator can tell them if they have the funds to afford to quit working.

               

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San Francisco - Fisherman’s Wharf

IMAGE SOURCE: Wikipedia

Fisherman’s Wharf

One of the most popular tourist destinations in San Francisco, Fisherman’s Wharf alone has enough to see and do to consume the entire vacation.

The area is one of the stopping points of the famous cable car rides and houses a Ripley’s Believe It or Not Museum, the Aquarium of the Bay at Pier 39, the USS Pampanito Submarine Museum and gobs of other attractions.

Fisherman’s Wharf is just one edge of the northern waterfront that blossoms out to include Ghiradelli Square near Van Ness Street to Pier 35 and Kearney Street.

Across the street from the purely tourist attractions can still be found the vendors whose forefathers gave the area its name. Here you can get a delicious helping of shrimp and tangy cocktail sauce or stop into one of the many small restaurants for clams.

Nearby is the disembarkation point for the Alcatraz tours. Be sure to get tickets in advance of your visit. It’s always sold out at least days, and often weeks, ahead. You can also take trips around the bay to Angel Island or Sausalito.

Just down the block is The Green Room, a comedy club that packs them in. Here, anyone you see is likely to be on TV in a few months. If they haven’t been already!

The Wax Museum, too, continues to attract crowds. Take a walk by Keanu Reeves looking more lifelike than he does in films. Or enjoy a photo-op with Presidents past and present.

Spend some time at the excellent Aquarium of the Bay. Here you can see everything from nearly invisible miniature jelly fish to all too visible sharks. Outside, not far away, you can see some of the local sea lions come to visit their cousins.

One of the more unusual sights, not generally duplicated in other large cities, is the Musee Mechanique. The Mechanical Museum of San Francisco. Presumably, they thought it sounded better in French.

The museum displays a large and fascinating collection of antique music boxes and arcade artifacts. Anyone interested in seeing what amusement was like before video games should definitely take a look. Located at Pier 45.

Come see a different side of the turn of the century and visit the indoor Maritime Museum and the historic sailing ships outdoors. See for yourself what life was like when all that stood between a sailor and starvation was his net and his two strong hands. Marvel at the beauty of the large sails and the tiny cabins.

Tours include ships that made trips around Cape Horn and schooners that hauled lumber in 1895. While you’re there check out the WWII-era USS Pampanito and the Liberty Ship Jeremiah O’Brian.

Pay a visit to The Cannery shopping mall and pick up some of the history of the 1906 San Francisco Earthquake along with gifts. You’ll learn, among other things, that post-quake fire did more damage than the shaking.

And be sure not to miss the Ripley’s Believe It Or Not museum. Full of odd artifacts and purveying dozens of unusual sights and stories, the museum is a large collection gathered by one of San Francisco’s oddest characters. And, in San Francisco, that’s saying something.

               

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Do It Yourself Plumbing

Plumbers earn their income. Most are skilled professionals who spent years learning a trade. They come to rescue us in times of crisis or for important projects. But, as thousands of jokes attest, they’re expensive and often not available when you need them. That’s not their fault. Their services are in high demand. Good fortune to them.

Fortunately, there are a whole range of plumbing projects around the home that are well within the reach of the ambitious do-it-yourself’er.

Installing plumbing under tile is at the outer limit of what most will want to attempt. But with patience and the right tools, it’s certainly possible, even common. Like any project it requires planning and care, but nearly anyone can do it.

Other tasks are even easier.

Replacing a garbage disposal unit, or installing an under-the-sink water purifier takes some reading and a bit of patience. It will take an hour or two for most, provided they take care not to break anything. Strong hands to loosen stuck nuts and careful ones to lay Teflon tape correctly are the only major requirements.

Repairing or replacing a toilet might take a bit of muscle, even an assistant or two. But they’re simple mechanisms and - once you know how it’s done - the job is well within reach of the average do-it-yourselfer. Ditto for installing an under-the-sink or on-the-spot water heater. Putting them in the circuit with the existing hot water line can often be done in less than an hour.

No matter what plumbing job you tackle, knowing how and when to use sealants of different types is vital. Knowing the difference between PVC pipe glue and plumber’s putty is essential. Knowing when to use one or the other is mandatory. A facility with plumber’s tape will help prevent the need to re-do a simple job over and over again.

Fortunately, that’s all pretty simple. In many cases, it’s just a matter of following the directions on a package or reading a short tutorial.

Mundane tasks like unclogging a toilet or drain is something practiced by millions of homeowners who never even tackle a home project. Doing it for those rare times when the clog is a little more stubborn takes only a bit of homework.

Some specialty projects take only a small amount more study. Fixing a leaky outdoor spigot is simple. Replacing one with an anti-siphon sillcock is only slightly more difficult.

Knowing a little more about how water can leak or damage your plumbing moves you closer to the realm of the professional plumber. But not everyone has to be a Rembrandt to profit from doing a little art now and again.

               

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Exercise Tips for Future Moms

Many women enjoy a healthy lifestyle that includes regular exercise and a good diet. It can be tough to maintain that lifestyle when she becomes pregnant, especially during the later stages. But it is possible, and in fact preferable, to maintain an exercise regiment at least up until the last month.

Pregnancy brings many changes. Hormone levels go wild, you gain weight and (later) movement becomes increasingly difficult. Changes in the level of progesterone, estrogen and others produce softening of the ligaments around joints. Strain on internal organs, the back and legs is inevitable. At the same time, you’ll put on almost 30 lbs. Go easy.

Sometimes a general malaise sets in. Regular, appropriate exercise can help relieve much of that and help put your body in the best shape possible for labor. That optimizes your comfort and your growing baby’s health.

The first step is to adopt a kind of Hippocratic Oath of Pregnancy: First, Do No Harm. That ancient principle from the Greeks is still valid, more so during pregnancy. Some women are used to running five miles, doing every station at the weight machine or performing Pilates an hour a day. That will have to change fairly quickly.

But maintaining a good exercise regimen is still possible, just change your workout to fit your changing body. Eliminate crunches or any other form of exercise that stresses the abdominals or back. Go with lighter weights. Avoid jerky movements and forego squats which can separate the placenta from the uterus.

Breathing properly during exercises performed while pregnant is essential. Correct breathing technique anytime is important, but you’re now breathing for two. The baby receives oxygen through the umbilical and keeping the blood fully oxygenated is imperative.

Keep in mind that your resting heartbeat will increase by about 8 beats per minute during the first few weeks. Blood volume increases substantially as you progress. Factor that in when you consider any cardio exercise.

Hydrate at an appropriate amount throughout the day. That means small sips over a longer time frame, rather than large intake at a given time. Eating should follow the same pattern - four to five small meals per day is preferable to three larger ones.

Before beginning a workout, warm up gently. Perform easy stretches and be prepared to rest often for a few minutes at a time. Light cardio is the key to a healthy circulatory system, so important during these months.

Pregnancy shifts your center of gravity forward, stressing the spine and back muscles. To ease that aching back, swimming is one of the best forms of exercises. It also gives a very low stress but active cardio workout.

Yoga is a favorite for many. It helps achieve peace of mind and provides gentle movements that provide the needed stretching, while building good leg and arm strength. It gives also low impact on the back.

With a good program, you’ll reduce cramps, improve circulation and increase energy. You’ll lower your resting heart rate and keep fit.

If you feel any dizziness, swelling or experience any kind of vaginal bleeding or discharge discontinue at once and consult a medical professional.

Before beginning any exercise regimen it’s vital that you talk with your physician. It’s great to get more than one opinion, but your OB/GYN (obstetrician/gynecologist) can help you devise a program that is great for you and your baby.

               

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