Telling Your Teens That You Are Pregnant

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Getting re-married means dealing with many delicate situations with grace and finesse.  Some of the many issues that blended families face are: conflict with ex spouses, visitation issues, and sibling issues.  When you and your new husband decide to add an addition to the family(or find out that a new addition is on the way), you find that life becomes slightly more complex.  Exactly how do you tell your children, who may be teens at this point, that you are pregnant?

Many teenagers are struggling to come to terms with their own sexuality.  They may be dating or they may not be, but they are still trying to figure “the whole thing” out.  Most teens would prefer to think of their parents as just that–parents.  Parents aren’t supposed to DO that stuff.  This is what my teenager tells me anyway.  Parents do not get pregnant she claims.

Keep It Simple

The best way to tell your teens that you are pregnant is to simply say the words.  “I am pregnant.  I wanted to let you know because you are important to me.”  See, it really is simple?

Deal With The Aftermath

After the statement has been made, you’ll have to deal with the repercussions of that statement.  Your teen may have a whole lot of varying reactions.  Reactions may differ from teen to teen!  Your teen may be happy, sad, anxious, shocked or even disgusted.  Remember that her reaction to your news is just that: her reaction.  Don’t take it personally.

Discuss

Discussion may follow the initial reaction.  Don’t pressure your teen to discuss her feelings if she doesn’t want to discuss them however.  It is important to let your teen know that you are willing to discuss her feelings as long as she is respectful.  If the conversation turns nasty, or extremely personal, it’s over.  Another thing you may want to clarify with your teen is who you would like to know about the pregnancy.  For example, when I first told my children that my new husband and I were expecting their brother, the first reaction was, “OH, Daddy will be MAD.”  Decide if you want your ex to know and exactly who should tell him or her.

Expect a Time of Adjustment

It may take some time for your teens to adjust to the reality.  Luckily, pregnancy is a 9 month long process.  You have a while to work through the issues.

In our own family, I noticed that our son really changed our family for the positive.  Everyone was now related!  While I am not advocating having a child simply for that reason, I will tell you that it was an added bonus that we hadn’t anticipated.

How did your teen react to your pregnancy news?  Do you have any suggestions for other parents?

Comments

Samantha says:

I think teens are often confused with their own sexuality so seeing proof that a parent is sexual pushes them over the edge . . . or they’re just disgusted at the thought of old people having sex.

Sarah says:

I will be three months pregnant in 5 days, my oldest is 18, middle is 16 and youngest is 12. I remarried 6 years ago we have know each other for 9 years though. Im a really worried to tell them becuase of what they will think. At the moment the middle child (16) is going through teenage girl stuff and has been running away from home and being really horrible. She is just being rebellious, I bet you can understand why I havent told them yet. would telling them make her calm down? I dont know some one please give me some advise here cause Im desperate.

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