Often, in a counseling session, I here this statement, “If only I could do it over again.” Or, “Well, this is just the way I am.” My response is always the same, “You are free to be whomever you want to be!”
Now is the time to recreate your self, to change your dream, to re-program the lies downloaded into your mind during childhood, and create a life based on your truth. It takes some effort! But think about how much energy you use obeying rules that make no sense, that go against your very nature, to justify and defend beliefs that you learned by default!
As a child you do not have a choice. We were inundated with our parents beliefs whether we liked or wanted them or not. As a child, I resisted what my parents, and most adults, tried to instill in me….their beliefs. As an adult, I can say this to you, your parents have everything to do with who you are, but YOU have everything to do with whom you become!!
How do you reclaim your self, your reality? You must begin with your personal relationship with your self! Start by being very intimate with your self . You need to recognize and honor what is true for you. Becomme totally aware and remain conscious of your discoveries. Live them! Then share your reality, your true self, in relationships with others.
Know Your Feelings:
- Forgive Those From Your Past
- Express Your Feelings
- Change Dreams
- Be True To You
- Look at New Beliefs
A important part of self discovery is understanding your feelings. You must embrace your feelings as a precious part of your life. In childhood, we were often told we are wrong for exhibiting our emotional expressions. We must forgive the one(s) that said our emotions and feelings were a problem that needed to be solved, with repression and/or punishment. We must forget those ‘lessons’.
It is time to recognize that as unique expressions of an unfathomable source of life, each of us has been created with an equally unique set of feeling expressions. Rather than being a problem to be solved, we have been given the limbic system in our brain for the operation and management of our feelings, our special individual expression of human life experience.
Your feelings are important guides to your life, you need to risk discovering how you feel. Being conscious of how you respond when someone asks, “How are you?” Be honest without using the standard, “I’m fine, thank you.” A response like that What does it mean to feel something? Our bodies feel emotions based on the physical workings of the brain. (See the diagram below of the limbic system.) Thoughts of betrayal and disrespect are not feelings! Anger is a feeling. Happiness is a feeling, one that I prefer to have all day every day! If given a choice, wouldn’t you! Well guess what, you are free to make that choice!!! In 1954, Olds and Milner found that rats with metal electrodes implanted into their limbic systems’ nucleus accumbens repeatedly pressed a lever activating the pleasure center, and did so in preference to eating and drinking, eventually dying of exhaustion (1)!
Allowing yourself to feel your feelings takes courage. It may require booting out some old fears that were instilled in your developmental years. That may be tough and require a trusted person to share your thoughts and feelings with so you can work through them, tossing out what you don’t want to keep!. (PachamamasGarden.com to schedule an appointment with me.) But you must go through those old fears in order to be able to express your feelings. This is true intimacy!
Please do not blame anyone whild doing this work. Our parents and gaurdians of our youth did what they thought was best, just as we do with our own children! However, until you find your true self and discover your own feelings, you may never know true intimacy!
To see a schedule of seminars and workshops, or schedule your own event, including weddings and marriage couseling, at The Historic Jackson Ranch ~ Center For Healing and The Arts.
Love and light, is a glaze.
The Limbic System
The following structures are, or have been considered to be, part of the limbic system:
Amygdala: Involved in signaling the cortex of motivationally significant stimuli such as those related to reward and fear in addition to social functions such as mating. (2) (3) (4)
Hippocampus: Required for the formation of long-term memories and implicated in maintenance of cognitive maps for navigation. (2) (3) (4)
Parahippocampal gyrus: Plays a role in the formation of spatial memory (3)
Cingulate gyrus: Autonomic functions regulating heart rate, blood pressure and cognitive and attentional processing (2) (3) (4)
Fornix: carries signals from the hippocampus to the mammillary bodies and septal nuclei. (2) (4)
Hypothalamus: Regulates the autonomic nervous system via hormone production and release. Affects and regulates blood pressure, heart rate, hunger, thirst, sexual arousal, and the sleep/wake cycle (2) (4)
Thalamus:The “relay station” to the cerebral cortex (2) (4)
In addition, these structures are sometimes also considered to be part of the limbic system:
Mammillary body: Important for the formation of memory (2)
Pituitary gland:secretes hormones regulating homeostasis(2)
Dentate gyrus: thought to contribute to new memories and to regulate happiness. (3)
Entorhinal cortex: Important memory and associative components.
Piriform cortex: The function of which relates to the olfactory system. (4)
Fornicate gyrus: Region encompassing the cingulate, hippocampus, and parahippocampal gyrus
Olfactory bulb: Olfactory sensory input
Nucleus accumbens: Involved in reward, pleasure, and addiction
Orbitofrontal cortex: Required for decision making
(1) Olds, J., Milner, P. 1954. Positive reinforcement produced by electrical stimulation of septal area and other regions of rat brain. J.Comp. Physiolo. Psycholo. 47, 419–427
(2) Normandy, Sandhills NC US Psy 150 limbic
(3) The HOPES Brain Tutorial, Part 5, Stanford Edu
(4) About.com.Biology, About The Brain, Limbic System